The Counseling Aspects

Dumelang Bo rra le Bo mma!

So contrary to my last blog, which took a long time to post, I am bombarding you with more information because today has been the first day that I have felt a purpose in being here and a true sense of belonging. I realized that in the last week or so I've been a bit down because Stephanie and I felt as though we were lacking direction with our selected organization.

To be blunt, this organization is struggling financially, directionally, and it lacks resources. On the other hand, its counseling efforts are truly impressive. Barbara, who is the lay counselor that Stephanie and I have been observing, is so inspirational. It's interesting how Botswana really has no standards or qualifications that have to be met in order to be a counselor. As a United States citizen and a biased counseling student, it has been hard for me to accept that someone with no formal training could be an effective counselor. In the States this would imply that anyone could get a job as a counselor and my schooling would have been conducted in vain.

On the contrary, Barbara's training at Lifeline reminded me of who I was before the counseling program at Ohio University. While I have learned so much at OU, when it comes down to it, either you have natural abilities that point you into the direction of helping professions or you just do not. I think that I grew so accustomed this academic year to examining so much of my intentionality as a counselor, that I forgot my empathic nature and listening skills that have come naturally.

Blah, I'll get off of my soapbox and tell you about the day instead of continuing to boast about my self-revelations...

I woke up in a rather sour mood, which as I mentioned before has been a theme lately. When we got to Lifeline, we were greeted by the nine women who are counseling trainees and participate in the personal growth group. They're all so warm and friendly, but I was a bit apprehensive having only met them once before to participate in something like Dance Therapy as a collective.

Barbara began the session by having us all close our eyes and giving us a hypothetical situation, which as most of you know, I LOVE HYPOTHETICALS. My mom hates when I do this because it's generally something disgusting or just completely unrealistic. In this hypothetical situation we were to imagine ourselves leaving the building and boarding a bus and driving somewhere for a picnic. Along the way the weather is perfect and we are happy and serene. We begin climbing a hill that keeps going up when all of the sudden the weather changes and suddenly the weather is inclement, and it's storming with thunder and lightning. As we begin to go down the hill the bus driver loses control and the bus slides off of a cliff with only the front or back of the bus dangling off the side of this cliff. In a state of panic, sirens make their way towards the scene and a man appears who tells us that he can only save two of us. The question that Barbara posed at this point is who should be saved on the bus with the Lifeline crew aboard.

Well naturally the hypothetical put me into a total state of anxiety, although Barbara continued the exercise once we opened our eyes and got back to reality. She went around the room and asked all of us who we selected to save, and my choice was Stephanie (obvious choice as she’s a close friend) and also Mimi, who is the youngest of the women in the group. As Barbara gave all of us a chance to answer, I couldn't help but take it a bit further in my mind and imagine if it were all the members of my family or a large circle of my closest friends who I would and wouldn't choose to save. How can you begin to answer something like that?

The point of Barbara's exercise was to demonstrate how most of us chose people to save other than ourselves, and that it's generally in the nature of a counselor or counselors in training to put others first. However, this was not entirely the general opinion. A couple people were honest and admitted they saved themselves. Barbara commended them, noting that as counselors we can't save everyone and that we have to be okay with that in order to be okay with ourselves at the end of the day. When you take on too many problems of other people, you ultimately neglect yourself. While this notion of self care has been preached to us since the beginning of my counseling program, I think this exercise was helpful at putting self care in a different context. Think about it though, really. It sounds a bit new age to put oneself in such a hypothetical, but at least think about this hypothetical. Who would you choose to save? It's hard to begin imagining having to choose!

The next element in our counseling was the dance therapy. We began with a series of stretches and warm up exercises, and then it turned into what mostly resembled an aerobics class for women at a Curves gym. Ha! It was entertaining to say the least. We then had to gather in a circle and one by one enter the circle and do a dance, ending our dance with elements within our lives that we wished to abandon. Whatever those elements, be it negative energy, guilt, fear, selfishness, boastfulness, etc - the rest of the group screamed out that element and for it to be gone. Again, new age and a bit tribal sounding, but it was pretty empowering! The exercise concluded with us taking a piece of paper and writing out all the negative words or feelings that people had attributed to us throughout our lives. We tore the paper up, threw the pieces on the ground, danced all over them, kicked every piece of paper out the door, and closed the door behind us. It was really cool getting to see how therapy was actually implemented into something like dance, and it wasn't just exercising to help reduce stress. It makes me want to put a more comprehensive plan together for the wellness component that I am responsible for during my time with Lifeline Botswana.

The second part of the day Barbara, Stephanie, and I drove across town to an international, private school called Mura a Pula (Clouds and Rain). I told you these people value their water! ;) The school is expensive as far as schooling goes in Botswana. It is 30,000 Pula for a child to attend each year, which is equivalent to $5,000 in the U.S. While this may not sound like much, it is still hard to avoid dropping your jaw at the larger bill amounts here. The school was beautiful, and the group that the counseling session was geared towards was 12 girls aged 14-16.

While Barbara commands a great sense of assertiveness and presence in her counseling, these girls dished out some questions that gave her a run for her money. These girls are smart and feisty. Barbara later told us that about 95% of the Mura a Pula graduates go onto colleges outside of Botswana, mainly in the U.S. and/or Europe.

There was no formal structuring to the group. Barbara generally begins by asking group participants to throw out feeling words that they are experiencing at that moment and the dialogue flows naturally from there. An issue pertaining to child/parent interaction was the main topic, although there was also talk of infidelity and the importance of self respect. I had to bite my lip so as to not laugh when Barbara brought up the subject of sex and used a diamond within a coal to represent the sacredness of a woman's womb. The implication is that when searching for diamonds, miners must carefully scrape away at the coal in order to check for diamonds (i.e. a woman must guard her private parts like a coal protects a diamond). I mean, it was appropriate given that coal mining and diamond trade are vital for Botswana's economic success, but still - a coal and a diamond!? Ha!

Anyway, Stephanie and I were driven back to Lifeline where we finished our day with a meal that Barbara provided - Kentucky Fried Chicken. Oh the irony. Stephanie and I agreed that for the first time since being here and beginning at Lifeline, we feel a sense of purpose and peace. It was also the first time I experienced the sensation that our time here is not nearly enough. Then again, it also reaffirms that counseling is needed everywhere and for everyone. It will be good to get back to Ohio soon and begin a new adventure working in the elementary school.